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We are in the mists of yearly Performance Reviews. So I send this to my team lead for a laugh. He accidentally sends it to our group mailer that includes 3 levels of managers (instead of sending it to their super secret joke mailer). /forums/images/graemlins/crazy.gif

It was titled: Tips for a better Performance Review.

I'm not sure what was more funny: the joke below or that he accidently sent to everyone including the bosses! /forums/images/graemlins/grin.gif

Math class now in session! From a strictly Mathematical viewpoint it goes like this:

What Makes 100%?
What does it mean to give MORE than 100%?
Did you ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%?
We have all been to those meetings where someone wants you to give over 100%.
How about achieving 103%?
What makes up 100% in life?

Here's a little Mathematical Formula that might help you answer these questions:


If:
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z is
represented as:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.

Then:
H-A-R-D-W-O-R-K
8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%

and
K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E
11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96%

But,
A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E
1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%

And,
B-U-L-L- S-H-I-T
2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20 = 103%

FINALLY, look how far ass kissing will take you.
A-S-S-K-I-S-S-I-N-G
1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7 = 118%

So, one can conclude with mathematical certainty that While Hardwork and Knowledge will get you close, and Attitude will get you there, it's the Bullshit and Ass Kissing that will put you over the top every time.
 

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Like my maths teacher used to say:

Politicians will trick you.
Women will betray you.
Your friends will at one point let you down.
Sometimes it will feel like even your family will abandon you.

But in the end the figures are always right!
 
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